Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
