I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
