I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize