before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
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Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
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I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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