we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
A+ Viking dick
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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