I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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