i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
