is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
