try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That accounts for only three of the penises
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
