My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
