I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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