i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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