New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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