At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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