somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
