He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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