I bet he comes in French.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
