I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
