My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize