sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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