i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize