So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
