i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Terrible idea I love it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize