Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize