ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
