he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
