I look better un-naked...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
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Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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