every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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