only you would photoshop your dick
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
