Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
