you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize