now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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