I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
