The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
