im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
