WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
