before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
