Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
