can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
