Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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