I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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