We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
