is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
