I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
