he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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