theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
