You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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