I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
