so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
