I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
