Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
