There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
