physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This toilet bowl is my home.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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