Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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