Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
