but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
