i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
