i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
nut hugger
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
