Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
