I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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