I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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